


Disclosure

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [45]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed Loki (Marvel), Feels, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Panic Attacks, Talking, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Understanding, Virgin Loki (Marvel), Worried Tony Stark, flyting, frenemies to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 09:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22714183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Loki runs away in a panic after kissing Tony for the first time, and Tony has no idea why.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [45]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 26
Kudos: 542





	Disclosure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [STARSdidathing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/gifts).



> Thanks again, Stars! ❤︎  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“Please don’t shut me out.”_

Living with the Avengers meant that Tony had long since grown used to the clash of violently different personalities. None of them were accustomed to having to share space, every one of them used to being the loudest voice in the room. 

Of course, that sort of thing would be expected of a crown prince, but Thor wasn’t even the worst of them. Even those who were softer spoken, who were more than willing to listen, who were used to keeping to the shadows– they were all used to being listened to, to their opinions having _weight_.

Still. Tony had grown up in a world of businessmen, he _knew_ how to deal with that kind of dick measuring. He found more enjoyment in being able to mess with the others than anything else, prodding in all the sensitive places and then watching the room go up in flames with a bright grin. In a way, Tony almost managed to make it _fun._

But then Loki joined the team, and all of a sudden Tony found himself gnashing his teeth just often as everyone else. Perhaps _more_ often, even, since it seemed that Loki liked to target Tony specifically, and there was no one more skilled at teasing out sore spots than the silver-tongued god of lies.

And to make it all the more irritating, Loki was _enjoying_ it, just as much as Tony had been before– but rather than standing on the sidelines to watch the following chaos as Tony had done, it seemed like Loki liked to immerse himself in the mess he created.

Whenever Tony responded to Loki’s snark with a barb of his own, Loki would get this glint in his eye that would always be accompanied by a wicked smirk, and he would quip right back. Tony, being Tony, would not be able to let Loki have the last word, and then, in hardly any time at all, it was the other Avengers who were standing back and muttering about fetching popcorn while Tony and Loki fired line after line at each other, their debates growing so heated on occasion that they’d end up almost nose to nose.

Thor called it flyting. Tony called it a pain in the ass.

(At least, he did out loud. There was no way he’d admit that he enjoyed it, too. Not when doing so felt like handing a victory to Loki.)

Soon, Loki began to seek Tony out, as if _asking_ for arguments. He would appear in Tony’s penthouse, or in the workshop, or even in his rarely-used office down in the SI office with a sharp smirk and a low drawl, and Tony would never be able to resist rising to the bait.

On one such occasion, Tony was in the middle of once again explaining that motor oil is not an essential part of a smoothie when he was interrupted by Loki appearing in all his snark-filled glory, his probably-rehearsed-in-the-mirror insult at the ready. Loki’s quip brought a grin to Tony’s lips and a retort to his tongue, and then he was on his feet, pressing closer as the argument grew more heated, following their usual pattern of escalation until they were close, until they were in each other’s face, their breaths coming in pants, their skin hot and flushed—

Tony couldn’t say who it was that leaned in the rest of the way, only that a moment later their lips were crashing together, Loki’s fingers were buried in his hair, Tony’s hands were raking down Loki’s sides. Loki gasped as Tony worked his tongue into Loki’s mouth, and Tony couldn’t help but slide his hands lower, gripping the curve of Loki’s ass and pulling him closer so their hips clashed—

Then Loki shoved at Tony’s chest, hard enough that Tony went stumbling back. He glanced up, about to complain– but he only got a glimpse of wild green eyes before there was a familiar charge of magic in the air, and Loki was gone.

“Asshole,” Tony muttered, straightening back up and rearranging his jeans. This was a whole new kind of teasing, a whole new low– although…

As frustrating as it was, Tony thought that there might be a way to enjoy it, a way to work this to his advantage. If this was how Loki wanted to play it… well, Tony would only have to give as good as he—

“Sir?”

Tony frowned, his thoughts immediately veering into another direction at JARVIS’ interruption– because it was rare for JARVIS to sound so hesitant.

“What is it, J?” Tony sighed. “Don’t tell me MODOK is trying to take over the world by infiltrating _Myspace_ again—”

“No, Sir,” JARVIS said, and Tony wasn’t entirely sure whether he should be disappointed at that, or relieved. He could have used a distraction. “Actually, it appears that Mr Liesmith is having a panic attack. I know that it is against my protocol to breach personal privacy in this manner, but he is not responding to my questions, and I admit that I—”

“Don’t worry J,” Tony interrupted, already on his feet and halfway to the elevator. “You did good. Just take me to him, yeah?”

Tony found Loki in his bedroom, curled on the floor against his bed with his head on his knees, his breathing too fast, his hands shaking where they were fisted against his upper arms. Tony closed the door behind him, hoping the click would announce his presence– though, it would hardly do any more than his knock could have, and Loki hadn’t responded to that.

“Loki?” Tony asked, his voice gentle as he crouched down beside him. He wondered whether he should reach out, put a comforting hand on Loki’s shoulder– he even lifted an arm to do so, but paused when he realised that it would probably not be welcome. After all, it was Tony’s touch that had put Loki in this state in the first place. “Hey,” Tony said instead. “Are you okay?”

Even as he said it, Tony knew it was a stupid question. Of course Loki wasn’t okay, for fuck’s sake—

“Anthony,” Loki said without lifting his head, his voice low and hoarse, his breathing still far too fast and shallow. “You’re not meant to be here—”

“You’re right, I’m not,” Tony agreed. “But I wanted to make sure that you’re all right. If you want me to go, all you have to do is ask.”

Loki glanced up, then, and he looked as if he were on the verge of a difficult choice. His eyes were wide, still panicked, his hair a mess, his forehead red where it had been pressing into his knees.

Tony sighed, and turned so he was leaning against the side of the bed at Loki’s right– not close enough to be touching, leaving a few inches between them. Loki stared for a moment, but he didn’t curl back up. He leaned back to rest his head against the bed, his eyes falling closed, his breathing still shallow enough to warrant worry.

They sat there for a while, Loki breathing, Tony watching. He found that he couldn’t take his eyes from Loki, he didn’t _want_ to– he didn’t know what was going on, but he hadn’t been lying when he said that he wanted Loki to be all right. Loki gave no indication that he wanted Tony to go, and as his breathing began to slow, Tony couldn’t help but wonder if the company was helping. He hoped that it was.

After a while, when he was breathing almost normally again, Loki’s eyes blinked open and he glanced at Tony out of the corner of them.

“Why are you still here?” he asked.

“I told you,” Tony said, voice soft. “I wanted to make sure that you were all right.”

Loki shook his head, and glanced away– but still, he didn’t ask for Tony to leave.

Tony hesitated for a moment, because he didn’t want to make anything worse. But on the other hand, surely it wouldn’t be great for Loki to just bottle it up? It would make sense for him to talk about it, wouldn’t it?

Except… a lot of things weren’t really making a whole lot of sense, were they? And Tony could try to muddle it out, but he had never really been any good at… well, at _people_. He’d probably just end up getting it wrong and then he _would_ make everything worse—

But there was one thing he could do, wasn’t there?

“Loki, can I ask you something?” Tony said, voice low and gentle. “Why did you run, earlier?”

“I didn’t _run_ ,” Loki muttered, curling in a little tighter on himself.

“Oh, right, my bad,” Tony said. Then he cleared his throat and asked– “Loki, why did you _teleport_ earlier?”

Loki actually did glance over at that, staring with what Tony _hoped_ was amusement, but… he wasn’t quite sure.

“I didn’t teleport, either.”

“Then why did you—”

“Anthony,” Loki said, his voice laden with a sigh. “Please, just… stop.”

And Tony stopped, not wanting to push too far. The silence stretched for another long moment, and somehow the air felt heavy, as if there was a tension between them that had never been present before.

Tony _hated_ it.

Things had always just been so easy with Loki, hadn’t they? They argued, they insulted each other, they _had fun_. There wasn’t supposed to be this strange _thing_ sitting between them, something that made Tony feel apprehensive about what was going through Loki’s mind.

Actually, you know what? Fuck that. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t easy– whatever this was, Tony wasn’t going to let Loki face it alone.

“Hey, Lokes?” Tony said gently. “Really, I just want to help, and if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but… please don’t shut me out. Whatever’s wrong, we can get past it.”

“Wrong,” Loki said flatly– and for a moment, Tony was confused, but then he realised that Loki was just echoing Tony’s word back to him. “That’s something that I’ve told myself my whole life, that… this is _wrong_.”

And Tony– felt his breath catch, as suddenly everything fell into place. “Oh,” he said. _Oh, crap._ Okay, so they were dealing with some internalised shit here, probably something to do with the way that Loki had been raised in Asgard—

“I never really believed it,” Loki said, still not looking at Tony. “After all, such things are common in Alfheim, and people _are_ open about it on Asgard. It was just not looked highly upon, and not expected of… well. I am a prince, you know.”

Wait—

Hang on—

“This isn’t… because you’ve been told that that liking men is an abomination or something?” Tony asked, frowning.

Loki looked up with a frown of his own. “Where did you get that idea?”

Okay. So. Once again, things were starting to get a little confused.

“Well, you just said, I mean– you just had a full-blown _panic_ —”

“Anthony, I was under the impression that Midgard was a place where people were free to be with who they wish? Or was I wrong?”

“Yes,” Tony said quickly. “Well, I mean, generally. _Here_ , yes, mostly—”

“Oh,” Loki said, letting out a breath of air. “That’s… good. I had thought so.”

“Then what is it?” Tony asked, still feeling lost. “Are you worried that I didn’t like it, or something? Because really, I promise, you didn’t do anything that I didn’t want you to, if that’s what you’re worried about. I know you like our discussions. I do, too. And if you want to do something other than talking then I am all for—”

“Oh please, I am not an idiot,” Loki sniffed. “I know that you want me, as well.”

“Then _why?”_ Tony asked. “Loki, come on. I’m just trying to understand, and I thought it was something really bad from the way that you reacted but now I’m thinking that maybe it’s something else– and you still won’t even _look_ at me.”

Loki did look then, as if to do it only out of defiance. He stared Tony down in a manner that was incredibly familiar, and _finally_ , Tony thought that he might have hit some solid ground on the matter as Loki said, “It’s got nothing to do with you. This is _my_ problem, and it’s not something that I particularly want to discuss.”

“Then you don’t have to,” Tony said easily. “If you don’t want to talk, then that’s fine. But, Loki, I just admitted that I’m down for making this something more, and I… I want you to know that that you’re safe with me, okay? Whatever it is, I’m not going to hold it against you. Not ever.”

While Tony had been talking Loki had finally unfolded a little, turning to face Tony properly. “You do not even know what it is,” he whispered.

“Doesn’t matter,” Tony replied firmly. “I’m not going to judge. Not when it’s clearly important.”

Loki closed his eyes for a moment, quite clearly thinking it over. But then his expression hardened into determination, and he met Tony’s gaze as he began to explain.

He spoke in a rather roundabout way, his expression remaining carefully controlled, but Tony did not find it difficult to read between the lines. Loki had always liked men, but he had fought his whole life to fit in amongst the other Asgardians, to try and be as well liked as Thor was– and that meant he had to fit the mould. And while the people of Asgard were tolerant of relations between two men, it was not an option for a prince who would be expected to produce sons.

Loki didn’t admit it outright, but in between the mutterings Tony was able to understand. Loki had never had sex with a man before, had probably never even kissed one before he’d kissed Tony– in order to fit in, to be admired, to _do his duty_ he had quashed his desires and suppressed his urges. But then Loki had found himself on Midgard where people were a little more free to do as they wished, where there _were_ no such expectations upon him. Then he had started to want Tony, and had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

Tony’s first reaction was, of course, disbelief, because Loki was both gorgeous and the kind of guy who seemed the type to just go after whatever he wanted. But, knowing Loki, it _did_ finally make sense, because Loki had just wanted to fit in more than he had wanted to sleep with anyone.

And now… well. Maybe he had been panicking, because…

“Loki,” Tony said when there was a decent length pause. “Did you think that I wouldn’t want to be with you because you were inexperienced?”

“I didn’t think that would be the case,” Loki said. “I promise you…” His eyes dragged over Tony, his tongue darting out to wet his lips in way that made Tony swallow. “I am a fast learner. I merely…”

“Panicked?” Tony suggested.

Loki smiled ruefully, his cheeks staining pink. “Yes. And then I… was angry at myself. I apologise.” He ducked his head. “It won’t happen again.” 

Tony hesitated for a moment, not sure if… well. Loki had all but admitted he wanted it, hadn’t he?

“Do you mean the panicking won’t happen again, or the kissing?” Tony asked, shifting just a little closer. “Because, I’ll admit I was rather hoping for more of the kissing. And maybe something past that, too.”

Loki’s blush deepened, but Tony was sure he wasn’t imagining that Loki was leaning in as well. “Definitely the panicking,” he said.

“Well, if you need any pointers to help with your confidence, I’ll definitely be willing to—”

“Oh, shut _up_ ,” Loki growled– and then he closed the rest of the distance and drew Tony into a searing kiss. Now that Tony knew to look for it, he could feel the hesitation in the movements, the uncertainty in the way that Loki’s tongue gently touched Tony’s lips– but Tony coaxed him into it, kissing him deeper until Loki was kissing back eagerly, pressing in so close that he was almost sitting in Tony’s lap.

They only separated when they were panting for air, and Loki stared down at Tony with wide eyes that gleamed with delight, not a trace of worry remaining.

There was, however, one other thing that Tony still wanted to address.

“Loki,” Tony said. “You know, if you want to spend time with me, you don’t have to pick a fight. All you have to do is ask.”

For a moment, Loki looked like he was about to snap back, to get into one of their famous arguments. But then his smirk turned into something a little softer. “I shall try to remember that,” he said.

“Good,” Tony replied– and then he pulled Loki down for another kiss, a kiss that was sliding tongues and wandering hands, a kiss which had him groaning against Loki’s mouth in moments. It was the kind of kiss that felt like it was going to lead everywhere good, and Tony couldn’t help but think that Loki had been right—

He definitely was a fast learner.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentines Day everyone! ❤︎


End file.
